Keeps grabbing his own bicep

Dear BLOG,

All day today Mauro has been grabbing is left bicep and wincing. We know that he secretly works out, and this is little way of telling us that he works out and has done something to injure himself.

Look man, if you want to work out thats cool whatever, but keep the little therapeutic post work out massages at home, its kinda weird.

Teeth are really white in his facebook photo

DEAR BLOG,

Today I noticed that Mauro's teeth are super white in his facebook profile picture. The reason I noticed it is because except for the facebook photo, i never noticed his teeth before. I think it is because his lips are big and cover his teeth most of the time.

Something is wrong with his eye

DEAR BLOG,

Mauro's left eye is all messed up. We noticed that it was kinda red and gucky a couple weeks back, we challenged him about it, and he claimed he didn't know. Now it kinda looks like his has been crying in one eye, and he will occasionally pull out this weird ointment and dab it on.

Keeps Birthdays a secret

DEAR BLOG,

Today was the best day ever.  Other people in the office are finally seeing through Mauro’s slick facade due to his flagrant uncoolness.   Today he knew it was Michael’s birthday, but did nothing about it. Instead he decided to keep the information a secret until I accused him of knowing about it.  We could have gotten a cake and everything!

Happy Birthday Michael…Sorry Mauro completely ruined it.

Jason

Will not Drive Cross Country with Me

DEAR BLOG,

Yesterday I shared with Mauro that I want to sell my part of the business and buy a couple used Limousines.

He thinks this is a great idea, but when we started looking kick ass Limos, we discovered that some of them are located all the way out in L.A.

He thought this was a bad thing (since we are in DC). I was like "No Man, this is awesome, you and I will go out there, and we can drive it back and have like the most awesome cross country trip ever! Since the limo can hold like 24 people, we can sleep in it and live out of it for a week!"

He still refused to acknowledge that this was a great idea, and started looking in New Jersey for limos.

Became "uncool" while I was on Vacation

DEAR BLOG,

Today, my first day back from a 2 week vacation, I told Mauro that I was going to Starbucks in a little bit, if he wanted to go. He was all like "no thank you" and i said "What?!?" and he said "uh..no thank you?"

Not cool.

Doesn't Work Extra Hard When Im on Vacation

DEAR BLOG,

I am at the beach for 2 weeks, so Mauro should know that he has to do a whole bunch of extra stuff around the office to make up for it. I called him the other day to ask him to do a bunch more stuff, and he was all like "well uh ok, I uh, don't know anything about that project, or uh..client, but I guess i can lead the meeting" . yeah. thats right man, step up, wing it! just figure it out when the client comes in. stop being all weak and scared about it.

anyway, i had to ask sara to also attend cause he was very nervous.

Jason