Thought "Bring it On" was a "dance movie"

DEAR BLOG,

Today after lunch when we came in, Mauro said "burrrr"  and of course I then said, "its cold in here, there must be Toros in the atmosphere" and the people sitting up front laughed and thought it was super funny...but Mauro just said "ooohh kayyy?" like he didn't know why i was so funny.  And i said "from Bring it On..." and then he said "oh is that like a dance movie"....soooooo frustrating that Mauro doesn't know the difference between a landmark cheer movie and just another dance movie.

Jason

Is worried about the cheese (Pepperoni Rolls pt 2)

DEAR BLOG,

He is back at it.  So again, trying to be super nice, brought pepperoni rolls in for the office. Soooo many people loved them...Randy, Caiti, and maybe some other people, I don't know all the people, but im sure there are others. 

So the day I brought them in, Mauro was home, so couldn't enjoy them.  The next day he comes in and slacks me all about refrigerating cheese, and how he is worried about them being left out becaues there is cheese in them or something. Im like im sure it is fine, that is the way they keep them in the gas stations in West Virginia.    but apparently that wasn't enough, he like googled it or something, and found out all about cheese safety, and LOW AND BEHOLD discovered that they are ok. i told him i didnt want to refrigerate them because i think it ruins the bread.

so then i find out out that he has been bothering all the people in the office about it, asking about if the pepperoni rolls  were left out on the counter, what about the cheese, and then telling them all that he googled it, and that some cheese is ok left out, and some isnt.

i try to do something super nice for everyone, and he ruins it with his food safety concerns. I am now worried that he has scared madison and alicia away from really just enjoying the pepperoni rolls.

thanks again for ruining everyone's days when i try to be nice.
 

Misspells Billie Jo's Name!

DEAR BLOG,

Billie Jo saw that her name was misspelled on google calendar, and everyone blamed me.  NOW i just heard her tell Mauro something about her name and how it is spelled, so pretty sure he was the one who misspelled her name...i even think he probably changed it after I typed it in.

nice man, and you hate when people get you name wrong soo much that you change it to Chris at eating places and food trucks

Jason

Said I was "grabby"

DEAR BLOG,

Today I tried to throw some of my popcorn into Mauro's popcorn bucket because he only had one flavor and I think they are more fun if you mix popcorn flavors.  He quickly moved his bucket away so I missed, I was  like "dude!" and he was like "I thought you were trying to take my popcorn", and i was like "well I was trying to give you some, but even if I was trying to take some, you should share"  he then said I was "grabby"

dude, if someone tries to either give or take popcorn from your popcorn bucket you should just be still, and not move it really quickly.

Didnt care about the cheese smell in the huddle

DEAR BLOG,

Today Mauro FLAT OUT TOLD me that he doesn't care that the Huddle room might smell a little bit like camembert cheese.  I thought it was very strange and interesting and ask if he could come spell it to confirm that the room smelled weird. he was like "dude, i really don't care, so im good"  really!!! REALLY MAURO!  that is a big deal, if a room smells like something, but for no good reason, it is very important to investigate.  I asked, and no one brought in Camembert, or had eaten it recently.

anyway, the room doesnt smell like Camembert anymore, but im still angry.

jason

Talks to Keith about Biking stuff

DEAR BLOG,

Yesterday I picked up lunch with Mauro and Keith.  Mauro got the same thing I did, and when the lady asked if she could put it in the same bag he jumped in before I could and said "yes" but then he didn't carry the bag back to the office so I was stuck carrying his stupid lunch all the way back to mediabarn. To make matters worse, he starts talking to keith about biking to the office, because HE KNOWS keith likes to bike around, so this is his little thing now with keith, and I hate biking so i can't say anything.  Those two went on and on about bike apps, about how they like biking in Arlington because the hills are like intervals or something,  i had nothing to add, so i just walked back with them all angry and carrying his stupid lunch.

Hey dude, in the future, im not carrying your lunch again, so don't have it put in the same bag.  Especially when you forget your wallet and i  have to pay and then you hog up keith's time with stupid bike talk.

jason

Wants people to say mean things about me.

DEAR BLOG,

Today someone at work resigned, and gave her two week's notice.  Mauro then asked if i was going to do something I think he made up called an "exit interview."  He wants me to ask the person who didn't like the job enough why she hates me so much that she can't stand coming to this job anymore.

Like Im going to go through that.

Jason

Didn't eat the Pepperoni Rolls

DEAR BLOG,

This past week I brought in some pepperoni rolls fresh from West Virginia.  They didn't get eaten and I heard rumblings that they were expired or something. Turns out Mauro wouldn't eat them because I got them at a gas station, and they were just about or maybe just expired. Which is no big deal because miners eat them in the coal mines, thats what they were invented for.

Also, I bet he ate some of the Beignets I bought that no one really said thanks for, or they thanked the wrong person, who didn't correctly identify that I actually bought them, after not wanting to, and Mauro probably DID NOTHING ABOUT THAT.


Jason

Is super flashy

DEAR BLOG,

This past weekend Mauro got a super fancy space car...that tiny little all electric bmw car.  So that makes me mad, but what is worse, is that he parks it in our building's garage...right in front of me and everyone else, showing how cool he is with his new fancy car that has really cool app customizable interior lights.

Dude, go park your awesome new car somewhere else where we all don't have to look at it all the time.

jason

WASN"T EARLY LIKE US

DEAR BLOG,

This morning before work I had Mauro pick Greg and I up from the dealership where I dropped off my car for much needed service.  I told him last night that he would be doing this and he said that he usually rolls past that point just a little after 9ish.  So this morning, we got at the dealership 10 minutes early, and since he wasnt there, I called him asking were he was.  He told me that he was still going to be going by there at 9ish!  EVEN THOUGH WE WERE EARLY AND STUCK WAITING OUTSIDE WHERE SOME DUDE WAS SMOKING MAKING ME AND PROBABLY GREG UNCOMFORTABLE.  Even Heather drove by and wondered what was going on, cause Greg and I were just standing there, waiting.

Dude. when you say you are going to pick someone up at a time and they are early, you should be early.

Jason

Still waiting for my present

DEAR BLOG,

This is the last day of work before my birthday on Saturday and Christmas is right around the corner.  I know that Mauro bought me some PappyVanWinkle bourbon last month, he had like 3 bottles.  I thought he was going to give me one right away, but I guess he wanted to make me wait till it was closer to by bday. But now its 2:38pm and he still has not given me the bottle and I am going to go home in a few  hours.  I just think its rude for him to make me late to go home waiting for my present.

Jason

Goes out and has fun with Keith (claims to have bought him a beer)

DEAR BLOG,

Today I am finding out about a fun party that Keith took Mauro to yesterday.  Mauro did send me a picture of the party, but his iphone makes a purple dot on stuff, and made it look like Keith had sat on a huge blackberry or something.  Anyway, Mauro said the party was fun, but didnt tell me all the great stories that Keith then told me later. So I went back and asked Mauro about the great stories, and he said they were "Keith's stories" and not his to tell!  DUDE! if you are next to keith when fun things happen, you are then witness to the fun stories, you can then tell me all the funny stories. jeeze. otherwise what is the point of  you going?

Also, he said in front of a bunch of people that he bought keith a beer at velocity 5, but i was intrigued and dug further. Turns out that Keith bought him a beer earlier and mauro was just paying him back with a beer, so he didnt really buy keith a beer, he was just returning it.

jason

Got a High-5 from Keith (and then a fist pump from Steven)

DEAR BLOG,

Yesterday I found out that Mauro got a high-5 from Keith because of something good he did or something.  I haven't gotten a high-5 in ages from Keith, probably because Mauro has been high-5ing with him all over the place!  If that wasn't enough, I just saw him and Steven do a couple awkward fist pumps, apparently Steven thought they were going to do more than just one, but Mauro didn't realize it and had put his hands back in his pockets, and Steven was left just kinda punching the air. Anyway, I carpool with Steven almost everyday and haven't gotten a fist pump!  And I drive!

Stop stealing all the cool hand congratulation moves from me man!

Ruined the ending of the first Hobbit movie.

DEAR BLOG,

So Mauro saw the first hobbit and said it was really good, but that it ended on a cliff hanger.  Based on this information, I waited for the second hobbit movie to come out before watching the first one on blu ray.  So this holiday season i watched the hobbit movie. It was really awesome, and the ending was intense, but i couldnt really enjoy it because i kept thinking it was going to end like in the middle of a battle or something.  turns out that they wrapped it up pretty nicely, and they didn't actually leave the team of hobbits n stuff hanging off the cliff, they got carried away from the cliff by some big birds.

thanks for ruining my holiday season movie watching time.

Tucked his pants into new shiny boots.

DEAR BLOG,

Today Mauro totally freaked me out in front of a bunch of people!   I had seen him this morning, at his desk, and I was at my desk, you know...the general back and forth, and he was acting all normal.   But as we got ready to goto lunch with Keith, I looked down saw he was wearing big new boots...and he had tucked his jeans into the boots, which looked really weird and forced me to stumbled over my words since I was horrified at his new super trendy look.

Anyway, it was horrible, and i totally felt like everyone was staring at me.

jason

Validated Keith's worst fear.

DEAR BLOG,

Today Mauro sent Keith an article about how someone fell through a sidewalk grate and unfortunately suffered serious injury and had to be rescued.  The article included several pictures of ambulances, firetrucks and a man, (described as an "office worker" (just like Keith!)) laying on a gurney.  Apparently this occurred in the neighborhood Keith just moved into.

As everyone knows, because they are routinely bumped into by him while walking outside, Keith is afraid of grates on the sidewalk.  Now Keith is going around saying that he is a genius!, and just has he was beginning to become use to the idea of grate walking, he is now completely justified in his irrational fear.

So thanks Mauro for additional years of Keith bumping into us while avoiding the numerous sidewalk grates.

Jason

Is a horrible patient

DEAR BLOG,

Mauro claimed that he was in a big bike accident today coming to work. He is pretty bloody and is grossing everyone out.  I tried to leap in and treat the wounds and he is all like "i got it man!" and "you need to chill out man"  I think he is in some kind of shock.  I doubt he has cleaned the wounds well, and if he doesn't bandage them up well, he will bleed on our keyboard and stuff. I also suggested that we drive him home, and he got all upset, but I am pretty sure he can't ride is bike with a what is sure to be a broken, bloodied, infected, hand, I think we should amputate at least some of it. I think he is horrified that his condition is upsetting everyone.

Jason

Went on a walk with Keith

DEAR BLOG,

I just found out that Mauro went for a walk with Keith without me. They went to Whole Foods for some cookies.  I was busy, so I told Keith I couldn't go, but I didn't know Mauro would swoop in and go with Keith.  So now, those two are having a great time walking and Im stuck working hard.

Jason

Had something in his teeth

DEAR BLOG,

I was at lunch with Keith and Mauro and I was pretty sure Mauro had something stuck between his two front teeth.  I couldn't really see well though because he was talking really fast, so his lips would cover his teeth so i could not get a clear shot at seeing if it was like a big shadow or a piece of lettuce.

It was pretty awkward for me.

Won't Order me a Limo

DEAR BLOG,

Just now I asked Mauro to use his fancy new app called Uber to schedule me a limo to pick me up to take me to the PINK concert later tonight.  He asked why I didnt just do it, and i was like "you already have the app and stuff" and he was like "so you want me to pay for your limo ride" and i was like "no, i would pay you of course! its just easier if you do it."  but he didn't do it.

So he didn't get me a limo.

On a related note, i got the app and then invited all the people in the office who go or live downtown so *I* get all the $10 referrals.